Bariatric surgery is a deeply personal decision. You are the person who attends the appointments, makes changes to your eating habits, undergoes the procedure, navigates recovery, and ultimately lives with the decisions you make throughout the journey.
But personal does not have to mean alone.
One of the most important things I have learned from working with bariatric patients for more than 25 years is that long-term success is rarely built in isolation. Successful patients often have people, professionals, and resources around them that provide education, accountability, encouragement, and support when challenges arise.
Your support system will not make the changes for you. They cannot attend every appointment, make every food decision, manage your emotions, or guarantee your success.
But the right support system can make a difficult journey feel much more manageable.
Your Bariatric Journey Requires More Than a Surgeon
Your surgeon is an essential member of your bariatric team. They evaluate your medical needs, perform your procedure, monitor your recovery, and provide important guidance throughout your journey.
However, bariatric surgery affects much more than your stomach.
Your nutritional needs will change. Your relationship with food may change. Your body will change. Your relationships may change. The way you cope with stress, celebrate milestones, manage difficult emotions, and see yourself may also change.
This is why I believe every bariatric patient should think carefully about the people they have in their corner.
A strong bariatric support system may include your surgeon, dietitian, primary care provider, therapist, family members, friends, and other bariatric patients.
Each person can play a different role in helping you navigate the journey ahead.
Your Dietitian Helps You Build a New Relationship With Food
After bariatric surgery, eating is different.
Portion sizes change. Nutritional requirements become increasingly important. Protein, hydration, vitamins, meal planning, and food choices become part of your daily routine.
Your dietitian is there to help you understand these changes and learn how to build habits that support your health.
But your relationship with food is not always about nutrition.
You may know exactly what you are supposed to eat and still struggle to follow through.
That is where the behavioral and emotional side of bariatric surgery becomes important.
Your Therapist Helps You Prepare for the Changes Surgery Cannot Make
I often remind my patients of a simple truth:
Surgery changes your stomach. It does not automatically change your thoughts, emotions, habits, relationships, or coping skills.
If food has been your primary way of managing stress, loneliness, boredom, sadness, anxiety, or difficult experiences, surgery does not automatically provide you with new coping strategies.
Those skills must be learned and practiced.
Working with a therapist who understands bariatric patients can help you identify emotional eating patterns, strengthen coping skills, challenge unhelpful thoughts, improve self-awareness, prepare for setbacks, and develop strategies for navigating life after surgery.
Therapy is not about someone telling you what to do.
It is about helping you develop the skills and confidence to make healthier decisions for yourself.
Your Family and Friends Need to Understand How to Support You
The people closest to you can have a significant influence on your bariatric journey.
Sometimes that influence is positive.
A spouse may begin taking walks with you. A family member may help create a healthier food environment at home. A friend may listen when you are having a difficult day.
But sometimes the people around you simply do not know how to help.
They may continue bringing certain foods into your home.
They may pressure you to eat more at social gatherings.
They may make uncomfortable comments about your changing body.
They may become frustrated when your priorities, routines, or boundaries begin to change.
This is why communication is so important.
People cannot always know what you need unless you tell them.
Part of preparing for bariatric surgery is learning how to communicate your needs, establish boundaries, and identify the people who will support the changes you are trying to make.
There Is Power in Being Around People Who Understand
One of the most valuable forms of support can come from other people traveling a similar path.
There is something different about talking to someone who understands the challenges of preparing for bariatric surgery.
They understand the appointments.
They understand the waiting.
They understand the fear, excitement, frustration, uncertainty, and hope that can come with making such a significant life change.
Group support provides an opportunity to learn from others, share experiences, exchange strategies, stay accountable, and realize that many of the challenges you are facing are not yours alone.
You may enter a group hoping to learn from someone else.
Eventually, you may discover that your experiences can also help another person.
Support is not only about receiving help.
It is also about connection, contribution, accountability, and growth.
Take a Look at Your Current Support System
Before surgery, I encourage patients to ask themselves a few important questions:
Who can I talk to when I am struggling?
Who understands the lifestyle changes I am preparing to make?
Do the people closest to me know how I want to be supported?
Who can I contact when I have questions about nutrition or my health?
Do I have healthy ways to cope when life becomes difficult?
Am I connected with other people who understand the bariatric journey?
Am I comfortable asking for help when I need it?
You may realize that you already have a strong support system.
You may also discover some gaps.
Identifying those gaps before surgery gives you time to begin building the support and resources you may need.
Asking for Help Is a Skill
Many bariatric patients have spent years trying to manage their weight and health on their own.
They have tried diets, exercise programs, medications, and countless attempts to “get back on track.”
Asking for help may feel uncomfortable.
You may believe that you should be able to figure everything out yourself.
But learning when to ask for support is an important skill.
There will be moments throughout your bariatric journey when you feel confident and motivated.
There may also be moments when you feel frustrated, discouraged, overwhelmed, or tempted to return to old habits.
Those are the moments when your support system matters most.
Build Your Team Before Surgery Day
Do not wait until you are struggling to begin looking for support.
Use your pre-operative journey to build relationships, develop coping skills, communicate with the people around you, and connect with resources that can help you prepare for life after surgery.
That is one of the reasons I created the Ready, Set, Go! Bariatric Success Blueprint Group Program.
The program gives pre-operative bariatric patients the opportunity to prepare mentally, emotionally, and behaviorally for surgery while connecting with other people working toward similar goals.
Through education, cognitive-behavioral strategies, accountability, reflection, and group support, patients can begin building the habits and skills they will need long after surgery day.
Because the goal should never be simply getting to surgery.
The goal is preparing yourself for the life that comes after it.
You Are Responsible for Your Journey, But You Don’t Have to Walk It Alone
Your surgeon cannot make every decision for you.
Your dietitian cannot choose every meal for you.
Your therapist cannot manage every difficult emotion for you.
Your family cannot guarantee that you will never experience a setback.
And your bariatric peers cannot do the work for you.
You remain responsible for your journey.
But responsibility does not require isolation.
Surrounding yourself with people who educate you, challenge you, encourage you, hold you accountable, and remind you why you started can make a meaningful difference.
Bariatric surgery may be your decision.
The work may be yours to do.
But you were never meant to do it all alone.
Build your team. Communicate what you need. Accept support when it is offered. Ask for help when you need it. And remember that preparing for lifelong success means strengthening not only your habits, but also the community and resources you have around you.
— Dawn O’Meally, MSW, LCSW-C
