The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many people, the season can stir feelings of deep sadness, loneliness, or longing—especially when faced with the loss of a loved one. Grief doesn’t take a holiday. In fact, the very traditions that once brought comfort can now serve as painful reminders of who is missing. If you’re struggling this season, please know that you are not alone. There are gentle, meaningful ways to care for yourself and honor your loss while still allowing space for moments of peace and connection.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
It’s okay if you don’t feel merry and bright. Grief has its own rhythm—it ebbs and flows. Trying to “push through” or pretend you’re fine often intensifies emotional pain. Instead, allow yourself to feel what you feel. Some days may bring tears; others may bring laughter—and both are valid expressions of love and loss. Try this: Take a few quiet minutes each day to check in with yourself. Ask, “What do I need right now—comfort, space, rest, or connection?” Then, give yourself that gift without judgment.
2. Create New Traditions (or Modify Old Ones)
You may not be ready—or even want—to celebrate in the same way as before. That’s okay. You can adapt old traditions or create new ones that honor your loved one in ways that feel right.
Examples:
Light a candle in their memory before a holiday meal.
Share a favorite story or photo.
Make a donation or volunteer in their honor.
Spend time in a place they loved.
Traditions don’t have to disappear—they can evolve into rituals that help you heal.
3. Set Boundaries and Say “No” When Needed
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting your emotional energy. If certain gatherings feel too painful or overwhelming, give yourself permission to decline—or attend for only a short time. Grief requires rest, not performance. Remember, healing happens in the space you create for yourself, not in meeting others’ expectations.
4. Connect with Support
Grief often feels isolating, but sharing your feelings can lighten the emotional load. Talk with someone you trust—a friend, therapist, or support group. Sometimes, being heard is the most powerful form of healing. If you’re in therapy, this can be an especially important time to process the waves of grief and learn grounding or self-soothing strategies for difficult moments.
5. Find Small Moments of Peace
You don’t have to feel joyful to find peace. Even simple moments—a walk outdoors, journaling, lighting a candle, listening to calming music—can anchor you in the present and soothe your nervous system. Healing isn’t about “moving on,” but rather finding ways to carry your love forward with you.
A Final Thought
Grief is the price we pay for love. During the holidays, that love may ache—but it’s also what connects you to the person you miss most. Allow yourself to remember, to feel, and to breathe. Healing is not forgetting. It’s learning to live again, gently and courageously, even when your heart is tender.
If you’re struggling this season, The Counseling Center for Change is here to help. Our compassionate therapists can help you process loss, navigate difficult emotions, and rediscover meaning and connection through this season and beyond.
